Wassup y'all? It's been a while since I've rapped at ya, and I apologize. Pictures have been hard to come by since I haven't been taking very many. At times I am so intoxicated I forget that I own a camera, much less how to operate one. Many people that I didn't know looked at The House have complimented me on it, including one girl who I don't know who was like, "Do you have a website? I've seen it!" Second time that's happened. I'm pretty awesome. Enjoy!
I wake up to an incessant door bell at 5:30am. It's the C Squared, without keys and dignity for he had been pooned. Not too bad, but bad enough. For once he did not want a picture taken of him, and because of the time I didn't realize that the flash didn't come on. Shit!
Tuesday, April 6, 2004
Tracy Morgan of SNL fame came to our school for a show where he talked about sex with retarded girls. After his show he came and posted at the local watering hole where he was surrounded by dudes. And he definitely denied a chugging contest between me, him and Larson. His watch is gigantic can I have it?
Anyway I was getting pretty drunk... who gets drunk on a Tuesday anyway? The same man who gets so housed that he calls his friend's little sister in North Carolina for a ride home. Apparently it's been Jenna and Melisa's dream to get a bucket of KFC and eat it all.
Sadly, but not so sadly, it was not finished by these two, and Melisa has the look that everyone has after eating a meal at KFC- why the fuck did I do that?
Thursday, April 8, 2004
My beirut partner who carried the team, for I didn't even make one cup.
But I still think we beat these suckers. Charles- hands in pockets. Hands in pockets.
David Swigger, the main man at busting the drifts in the hachi roku, the white "Dorikin."
I guess I fouled out twice this night. Dave's here, so we gotta chug. By that point I was so inebriated that I was pouring beer on my shirt instead of in my mouth.
My shirt was soaking wet and from second hand sources I am told that I was going around throwing it at people and slapping people with it. The best story from Charles- some dude was yelling at Pam upstairs, and I walk up behind him and slap him in the back of the head with my wet shirt. He turns around ready to chunk when Leland and Charles calm him down while I walk away. When I heard this I was scerrrred for I really think that I'm going to get my ass kicked one day because of something I say or do. Anyway I get the same story from Leland and apparently it was Swigger and he was laughing about it.
End of night.
If Yan can cook, so can you! I saw a commercial for this new restaurant on the telly and knew I had to go.
Look at the fortune that Laura got. It kinda rules. Kinda as in very.
Easter Sunday, April 11, 2004
Some things will never change...
Here's me and my barber, aka my ma. It's brunch at a country club and let me tell you I haven't had that great of a meal in a long time- unlimited shrimp, prosciutto, mimosas and of course, bacon.
There's a fucking hair in my Jack, so here's the dilemma. Should I ignore the hair and continue to slowly kill my liver or should I throw it out? Which option do you think I went for? Why am I even drinking on Sunday? Well I guess it is the "Welcome Back Jesus" party. Credit is given where credit is due- Mike Ferd.
Drunk drunk girls, in pastel colors. Wonderful combination, like mint ice cream and chocolate chips.
Beaten yet again, it's Figone and Conlin. Like I say, don't ever bring it when it comes to Catch Phrase. Ben found a show on the telly that's hosted by an Osmond brother where the whole show is basically Catch Phrase. We're going to be on it, you just watch.
Chugging is literally going to kill me. Fouled out again, and here we are doing tag team chugs. We made up all these rules and shit it was pretty fun. And yes Huens and I dominated. Then Huens got so drunk that he missed his 3:30 class the next day due to a hangover. I think that boy was hung over till like 9pm.
End of night.
So I'm a retard and bought this thinking that it was an And1 mixtape. I sure was wrong, and this fucking DVD sucks does anyone want to buy it from me for $5?
Friday, April 16, 2004
The question of the day. One of the question of the days should be, "What is your favorite question of the day?"
Am I so horrible that two different people wouldn't want to be locked in with me? And what is Leland talking about too much A*Teens? A*Teens is something that one cannot get enough of, similar to a warm smile from a good looking girl.
"Eh there's a difference between fuckable and hot, I can't really explain it, but you're fuckable."
Oh what blatant disregard for the rules and the establishment Danielle and Jac have.
I'm sorry this girl looks exactly like the girl in The Fast and the Furious and that surfing movie.
I should be a tatu artist. The pen will come out once every week I think. Do you want me to draw a fine mural on your arm?
"She's on the phone with WHO? Lil John!? YE-AH! OK!"
My new friend, body guard and entourage, Oliver.
Angela, you were complaining about not being on The House even though you are, so here's another holler.
"So then Ben, I grabbed her like this and found out she was a dude. But shhh, don't tell anyone, cause a mouth is a mouth."
End of night.
I'm so fucking awesome my boxers match my shirt. And yes I was showing anyone and everyone.
I'm thinking that Big Bird needs to have its wing clipped off... Do you think I should keep it or should I take it off? UPDATE: This is not Big Bird, it's another car that was at school without a wing. Every other yellow car I've seen has one, so I was studying this car thoroughly when one C. Fleming informed me it was here.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
It's not a true 40 unless it's malt liquor. My friends I have something I need to tell you. My boyfriend Huens and I went to Thomas Pink today and I saw one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. When he came up to help me I was in shock and was about to blurt out, "Oh God you're a good looking dude." However my social training kicked in and I was able to avert that embarrassment.
These girls are clever the theme of Kelly's birthday party was "Sports" so they antithesis'd it and dressed up as AIM girls who stay at home on the computer, constantly.
What's that sly look on your face Jenna? Do you have a scam to make some money selling coke or what? By the way I've thought up a credit card scam. If you want to hear it, I charge $20 and don't worry it'll pay for itself, like a metal detector!
The two self-proclaimed Swedes, who are actually just white girls to The Marquis of Oxenford.
Why are you looking all pissed off when you're rocking the hat? Did you steal it and are feeling a sense of guilt? Stealing from the mentally weak does make you feel that way...
For some odd reason Lindsay has a gigantic jersey with her name on it and she wore it as a quasi dress.
Lindsay's facial expression reminds me of a face you'd see on a "Missing" milk carton. Come to think of it, I haven't seen one of those in a long time. Do they still exist? It probably has to do more with the fact that I haven't drank milk since 1999.
There we go that's the smile we've all come to know and love, unparalleled exquisite beauty. And no I'm not talking about that dastardly good looking Marquis of Oxenford, I's talking about one Lindsay.
It's Milo! He was seriously afraid that I was going to urinate on him for some odd reason. You swear I'm R. Kelly. You know what phobia that's like? Urophobia. My fave phobia is venustraphobia.
It's you! Guess what color Annie's hair is naturally? You'd be surprised you usurper.
Jesus H. a hair cut, some color and accessories does wonders for some individuals. On a side note, someone looks like she's about to pass the fuck out.
Look at my new glasses! I got them at LensCrafters, where they help me to see better, one hour at a time.
I won't lie when I saw this picture in the morning I laughed real hard because Figone looks so fucking serious.
I really don't know what the fuck I was thinking here. I think we were trying to spell out a word like we're from the cast of Bring it On, but who knows?
Did we axe Benton to come join us or did he just take it upon himself to insert himself into the picture? And am I giving him a kiss? I would.
Jenna is the worst photographer, ever. 3 pictures and this was the best one. Either that or she is in love with taking pictures of her thumb and not the subject matter of Leland carrying me all the way from 10 Spot to Bellomy's. Now that shit is impressive, that's like carrying a sofa and matching ottoman during the LA riots from Vermont St. to Washington through all that smoke and yelling.
"Yasu! What happened to your glasses?" Well I traded them in for matching monocles. Do you like them? And I lent one to Laura cause I'm nice like that.
Damn Leland you are HOT.
It's Catch Phrase and Jack in the Box time at 3am, again. It's some of the most fun times I ever have.
The usual reaction I get when I pull the camera out to take pictures of random people. I felt kinda bad for the girl on the right because she came over to hang with the C Squared and we made them sit down and play Catch Phrase with us. Actually no I don't feel that bad my conscience has been numbed from excessive greatness.
Harvey has the two most ridiculous princess toes I've ever seen. She's the darker foot, and ask her if you'd like to see them, for she strives to be a foot model.
End of night.
The music computer in the living room was fucked up and I went over to Ice to help Tafter fix it. That's when I noticed this picture set as Ben's computer background. I didn't know whether I should feel flattered or creeped out. But then I remembered that he has his computer set to change the background every 5 minutes or so.
When I was a shorty I loved sticking things up my nose. I was bored and had some blue tape so I made some cylindrical shapes with tape and stuck those in my nose. Then I slapped on a speed strip to breathe better. Fuck those Breathe Right strips that are like $1/piece, just holler at me and I'll make you a ghetto one for a nickel. (You have two coins that equal $0.55. One isn't a nickel. What coins do you have?) Anyway, Leland got jealous with my breathing abilities and so I made him one too.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
What a good deal. You may remember how these two ate KFC the other night for the first time. Let me give you the underlying story. The deal was that I'd pay for the chicken and if they finish it, they don't have to pay me back. But if they don't finish, then they have to pay the $18 and change back. Of course they didn't finish (if they did that would've been gross as shit I won't lie) and instead of paying me back $18, Melisa offered to take us to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in the city. And here's how the deal got even sweeter (though I don't remember this part since I was pretty belig at the time). If we don't make it to the dinner, Melisa pays me $200. How can I lose? Going to dinner with two lovely ladies or getting $200. And yes I was the one that was drunk not Melisa.
It's Katherine's birthday and it looks like Daoro is ready to drink in Lacoste.
A kiss for you, a kiss for her. Do you know who blows kisses all the time? Adam. Adam.
Against my better judgement I'm drinking on a Wednesday and yes I failed to make it to class the next day.
It's the History 7 club! Oh how I miss that class. Having lots of nugs you know in class makes it highly enjoyable.
These pants always trip me out because I think they're Cybertek but then I remember that they are The Gap.
Yellow House in a suit with Mr. Tarantino, holding it down strong for San Mateo. I must've looked really out of place!
Harvey pretended she was a cat. Let's just leave it at that!
It's K. Stokes' birthday as well. Wish her well!
I won't lie, the monocle is probably the coolest thing I've thought of in a long time.
Well this was a funny story but it'd probably be a faux pas to recount it here on the Entirenet for all to see. You can call me Cupid though.
I was debating whether to put this picture up but then I figured hey it's not like they're fucking so whatever. Enjoy and try not to masturbate to it too much!
Friday, April 23, 2004
I have my phone set so when someone calls a picture of Avril Lavigne pops up. Prince William hollered at me and Jeff caught a glimpse of the picture and knew it was Avril. Good eye Jeff, good eye.
"Hey there Mister, stop eyeing my PEN-15 unless you're going to do something about it."
This was fucking unbelievable. The girls at White House have to pay $1 to do laundry IN THEIR OWN FUCKING HOUSE! Oh man if these were Bosch NEXXT machines, I can maybe understand that. This is shystyness at its finest.
That's nice- a house full of good looking girls. 2 are MIA though and where are Teresa and Vanessa? If you'd like to date any of them, you can't.
How tall do you think Kristen is? Like 4'22"?
"Drinkin is very bad, yo I got a fake ID though."
What the fuck Jeff has a twin sister? I didn't know that until like yesterday and here she is! Jessica!
If Michelle Candoo, so can you! I thought this was extremely clever, however apparently many people have said it to Michelle before.
I sat next to Lucy in religion class and thought she was pretty cool, though this is the first time I've seen her out. I had some Gobstoppers one day (aren't those delicious?) and to prevent people from bumming them off of me, I told people that I had found them on the ground. That didn't stop anybody, including Lucy. Isn't that gross?
I was talking to Sierra the next night and she said something about how I spilled beer on her the previous night (this night). I didn't even remember seeing her, but then she's like "We took a picture!" I busted out the U30, and sho 'nuff, she was there. Anyway, I got sloppy drunk and when I went to give her a hug I failed to notice that I had a full beer in hand, and spilled some on her back. She went to the bathroom to clean up and I guess I followed her in there, and spilled the rest of the beer on the floor. That's probably when I cut out.
I really really like what Serene did with her hair this night, she was hot as shit. David Swig is my hero- another shout out. And yes Bently bought me a Guinness at the school bar on Flex. How sick is that?
Saturday, April 24, 2004
It's Parents' Weekend, and yes our parents are here to BBQ and drink. I had an internal heated debate with myself if I should drink hard A this night because I don't want to make a bad impression on the parents. Then the yearning called me and you guessed it I hung strong with some Bacardi. By the way Dallas' father makes some awesome ass drinks.
In the guise of taking pictures of Tafter, here is Huens hollering and spitting game at Ms. Ferd.
Playing beirut with my ma against Jeffers and his ma. They won. So I remember this, and then going to the U, but nothing in between. That's kinda bad.
I hope parents were gone by this point because (sssshhhhh I was a little drunk). I seriously wish that I didn't say anything bad to parents. Apparently I told some sophomore girls' parents that Ben and I are gay lovers. What would possess me to say something like that?
Hey but whatever, you gotta keep on keepin' on. Did you know that Kate Spade (the handbag girl) is David Spade's sister in law?
Damn blurry pictures again! Here are several girls representing the Dugs!
Kristen has a propensity to kiss girls on camera. Perhaps off camera too, however I don't really know her that well.
Damn Bently you have nice hands you should be a hand model. I would do anything to be a hand model it'd be awesome I'd have a great excuse to wear gloves all the time.
Party 2 Go! This is the first time I joined these girls since they usually start Party 2 Go at 3 am and by then I'm usually passed out. However I don't even remember being here and was a little surprised when I was looking at my pictures the next morning and saw this.
Here's the Party 2 Go vehicle of choice. I guess when we were taking pictures of the hooptie some girl yelled out "You're lame!" and threw things at us.
Oh God by this point I was so drunk I'm amazed that I was still a functional human being.
Well Kristen will leave on that note.
Ferd and I made a pact to go to the U since it hasn't been hollered at for a while. Ferd was impressed that I 1. made it there 2. ate all that food plus a free Guinness 3. made it back without passing out. Here I am chasing Amigo around the store. Why was I chasing him? I probably wanted to hug him. And why the fuck did I give out my phone number to some shady Indian guys?
End of night.
Very impressive Dr. Chiba. So I was driving the 280 going about 80 like usual and this black SUV comes up from behind me and passes me. Then I notice CHP riding hard behind that SUV. Thank you very much black SUV! I don't like tickets!
April 25, 2004