Uh Oh. My Mofoin' Birthday.

Wassup squares. It is my golden year, eh Susan and Jocelyn? Since we never do anything fun, I decided to have a sort of birthday party in Palo Alto. Remember having birthday parties in your backyard and stuff? Oh those were sooo fun. I remember I got Batman to come one time, and he was very very cool. He had this little gun thing that shot something or other out of it. And when I axed him where his Batmobile was, he said it was in Hollywood. I didn't get it back then, but it was a sarcastic remark. That bastard. Well anyways, back to the issue at hand. Since we would all be drinking heavily, we figured at least one of us would get arrested. However, the person we thought would (Striker) didn't... go on ahead and see who did!

Here we is buying tickets from Zone 5 to Zone 4. $4 roundtrip. Although most of us didn't use the roundtrip part... oh the suspense is killing you!!!

We's waiting for the train. Notice Marshall is here. He was nice enough to join us for dinner.

We're eating at Il Fornaio at 6. Cohen's suggestion.

Notice the Doug is not here. Apparently he forgot it's his mom's birthday. How in the world do you forget your mama's birthday? There was a hair in Conor's risotto. It's kinda funny like that, no?

Oh no here's where the trouble starts.

That's our homie Jose in the back.

Oh someone looks happy. And someone looks a little worried of times to come.

Why are my eyes closed in every fucking picture???

Jake in his lil linen shirt.

Oh, that hurts my feelings.

We wanted to keep all our bottles on the table so we'd be kinda stunner... but they didn't let us. The bastards.

Since it's my birthday, you take the sake tower challenge. It is three levels of sake. It was kinda hard because they use the cheapest sake ever and it tastes really bad. But it's not as hard as the Cluck U 911 challenge; but really, what is?

Second layer... ugh it's so nasty!

This is getting kinda hard.

And then a sake bomb afterwards. I like beer. A sake bomb for all you suckas that don't know is where you have 3/4 cup of beer and then you drop a shot of sake in it and then chug it. They are very fun.

Hehe, wow.

BEER!!!

Uh oh. Who threw up? Jake says that there is something in Guinness that makes you throw up. Alcohol maybe? Do they put alcohol in Guinness???

It was these two fuckers that threw up. Conor was throwing up like nobody's business. I remember it sounded like someone was throwing buckets of water into the toilet.

Petting is fun.

SAKE... BOMB... SAKE... BOMB... SAKE... BOMB... ICHI... NI... SAN... LET'S DO IT!

We showed up everyone.

Oh goodie my homies Ted and Steve are here!

This is our waiter Takashi. He speaks Japanese!

TOM!!!

Oh we're drunk.

They tried to cut us off 4 times. Eventually we got kicked out.

Miggy.

More petting.

This fucker was humping the floor.

Huh? This guy had the hottest girlfriend. Oh my.

Wow how drunk are we. My pants are falling off. It always happens, but usually I'm sober enough to pull them up.

Yeeeee!!!

This table challenged us to a drinking contest. That girl vs. Book. Uh oh. VDT pride.

These fuckers are so stupid. They had like 28 people and they each had their own bill. What the fuck, split it you stupid bitches.

Hmmm, she don't look too stunner. Kinda good looking though.

Ready Nick?

"Let's do it, let's do it!"

Four shots of sake, as fast as you can.

She used two hands, and won.

Oh you're a little bitch!

Haha good job.

They weren't drinking like champs like us.

Oh you drunk drunk fuck.

Me and the champion.

Outside Miyake's!

Hello Mista Ted and Jeuck.

Drunk in public at its finest.

I love you Ted.

Then we went to Blue Chalk. Oh my, not a good idea.

Holy shit we are soo fucked up.

Jesus fuck.

Me and my roommate for next year.

We were going around trying to play people pool for money and everyone would be like, "No, no go away." Eventually I guess I was just so drunk they grabbed me and kicked me out.

I don't remember taking this. We were going to take the 11 o'clock train but we missed it. I don't know what time this. Apparently Jake made it to the 11.

Oh this was epic. Nick got furious at Stricker because he broke his camera and thought Stricker broke mine too. At the train station he started yelling at him and choking him. God how did we even get to the train station? My friends then got Nick pinned down. As soon as he started yelling I ran into some bushes and hid. The police were surely coming. And I was right. So I guess I was hiding in some bushes and I was like oh no oh no I don't like jail. So I called my friend Phil and he picked me up. Phil, you fucking rule. Meanwhile, 8 cops roll up to the rest of those fuckers and cuff Nick. Apparently they wanted to take all of them to jail. But Nick somehow got them to let them all go. However James showed them a fake ID and kept on saying it was real. The officer was like, "Uh I'll just give you a ticket and let you go home, is this fake?" And James kept on saying it was real. So he went to jail.

Jake took the train home, Nick and the rest got a cab. I wondered how Nick and Stricker took the same cab since he was so angry. But then Cohen hypothesized that Nick likes Stricker more than jail. Haha that was soo funny! Nick passed out in my room and then I dragged him to Jake's. He then woke up and started running around, going "NO NO I'M NOT GOING TO MY ROOM!" He got pooned soooooo hard, holy shit.

So we went to go pick up James at jail.

We ran into the Bad Boy Bail Bonds guy and got free shirts!

Haha!

He fucking barfed in the police car. I bet they were happy. He was charged with Misdeamenor presenting false identification to a peace officer. 148.9(a).

Now for some random pictures.