At school, Nick was showing us his high school yearbook and some of his dance pictures. There were some nice ladies. Not nice Mormon ladies though. He talked a lot of shit, saying he hung out with her and her and also her. I was like, I don't believe. So simple. He be like come to Utah. I's like OK. So I went ahead and went. And so did the Mr. Matt Lee. Who are we looking for? Hilary and Michelle. I am sorry I don't have that many pictures, I would feel like a jackass whipping out a camera at parties and taking pictures of people I don't know. Ya know?
Look at this line. Oh- I didn't know. We cut in front of these mofos.
Day 1. Actually I arrived at the airport at 7pm, so Night 1. Nick, Hanley and Matt picked me up from airport. I was surprised Hanley came. It was nice of him. After waiting quite a bit at Nick's house for his homie Tally, we went to the Cabana Club. It's Thursday night. The busiest night. Nick is tite with the bouncer, and we all get in without cover. Yeeeee!
A nice ad.
You can't really see it here, but this was a scandalous ho. She wasn't very nice. Bad times.
Me and the owner. I am drinking a Long Island Iced Tea. Doug, it really doesn't taste like iced tea at all.
Scott the bouncer and us. You see Tally? The guy on the right of me? He looks like Josh Wachtel.
We drank quite a bit at the bar and then came home. We were hungry and went to Alberto's to get some nice Mexican food. I had the taquitos and the chicken quesadilla. It was a bundle of grease. It was good though. I slept on Nick's bed that night, with him sleeping on his chair-bed. We went to bed around 3. I didn't sleep until 6am. Why? Because my stomach hurt from all that bullshit and Marshall nor his Tums were there to rescue me. I felt really bad. And Nick was snoring. Boo.
Day 2. We woke up and were ready to go around 1. Nick and I picked up the snow blower from the guy that repaired it. The car smelled of petrol. I really didn't like it. Matt was being a lazy ass, sitting and watching TV. Hey! That sounds like someone we know. The motherfuckin' Su! I don't remember what else we did during the day.
Shoveling snow builds character. So does snow blowing, just not as much. Do you like things that build character? Some other things that build character- digging holes and then filling them up again, carrying a live moose across a tundra to give it water and jail.
We went to Wasatch! I came here when I previously visited in March. The Raspberry Wheat is some damn good beer. I had the nachos and the baby back ribs. The ribs weren't too popping. After dinner, we went to some sorority party. It was kinda weak sauce. There were some nice looking ladies though. Nick and I pretended that I was on the Japanese ski team and fucked with people. It was quite funny. We would stand there and I would speak Japanese while he imitated me, and everyone was looking like what the fuck. Then the head bitch kicked us out. Nick was like, "He's on the Japanese ski team! You're kicking out an Olympian!?" She's all, "I don't care who he is. I don't personally know him! Leave!" I just stood there looking confused, speaking Japanese.
This is Dean. He drinks quite a bit. He once did a 41 second keg stand on a CO2 tap. He outdrinks Book. And he's fairly small. It's kinda amazing.
Day 3. What we did during the day escapes me. We went to the ghetto-fabulous party at night. All the ladies were not very nice. I really like sausage fests. It seems that's all there is. Do you have a clue why? Could you please tell me? After we bounced from the party, we went to Squatters to have the beer platter. It was really good. Then we were really tired so went home. Although these girls wanted Nick to come over to their hotel party (it was the 7th grade dance and their dates had left, having a 11pm curfew), we decided not to go because of our exhaustion.
He was weak sauce here. 10 seconds.
Can you guess what this is? I'll give you some money.
Day 4. I clogged Nick's toilet. And felt really stupid. It overflowed. Yeah. His dad cleaned it up with a wet/dry vac. We went to this restaurant that was very good. And then Nick took me to Park City to look for houses for the Olympics. I am very stupid. My plane was 2:50. I for some reason thought it was 7pm. What the fuck is wrong with me? I frantically call Delta and they say just go to airport now. It is 5pm. I get there and they say I can fly standby on the 6:50. Good times. But they said I couldn't fly First Class even if I paid more. Weird. So Nick is very nice guy and waits at the airport by himself for about 2 hours while my dumb ass is sitting in the gates reading MacAddict. Well, I couldn't board. 5 people couldn't. Ok, so 10pm. Nick and I go back to the Cabana Club for a couple of drinks. After, he drops me off at the airport and cuts out. Nick is very nice guy. I go to the Wasatch Pub in the airport and have a couple more drinks. I fly. And I slept almost the whole way. Drinking and flying is good. Not like drinking and driving. Well anyways friends, I am very tired. I just got back from Utah. it is 1:08 am. I's sleepy. It's nice to be back.
The only thing I was sad about was not seeing Hilary or Michelle. It was good times though yo!
This part of the website is dedicated to the Book family for their wonderful hospitality. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Nick- you rule!